i once heard a quote “the mirror reflects only what you expect to see.” which is true. i mean yeah. whats there is there, theres no way to change that. but you can perceive how you see it. ive struggled so hard with this concept. in my mind, ive always been chubby, always more of an ugly betty than a snow white. when i look in the mirrior thats what i expect to see. i expect to see the girl i dislike so much that i cant go anywhere with out make up and three outfit changes to make sure that im to my best advantage. ive never been able to except when people call me pretty. my boyfriend calls me gorgeous every single day and still, i dont beleive it. because what did i ever do to be considered pretty. im short, average build and hardly special in any way. and still he assures me of my beauty. how is that possible? ive struggled with anorexia since i was twelve. four years. and im just getting over it. im trying to change how i preceive life. but its so hard when i have four years the opposite of that. baby steps tho. things like this dont happen over night. baby steps.
i think i understand romeo and juliet a bit more now. which is so cliche. but its true. because when your dad answered the phone yesterday and told me that you wouldn’t be calling back. ever. i didn’t know what to do. i didn’t know what i could do. i cried and cried and tried to figure out if that was you or him talking. i love you and i always will no matter what. part of me wants that to be him talking. but the other part hopes its you because then at least you’d be happy even if it crushes me utterly and complexly. even if i have no idea what to do with myself. even when im empty because the best thing ive ever had is slipping away. i love you
when that someone wishes to hurt you with words “your love is not safe”
for their sake just smile and walk away
it is their heart that’s unstable not yet in the right place
do not change do not waiver
but hold steady your love for them forever
for true love should only be kind never ever to hurt
a heart filled with love will always forgive and deep down never desert
My name is Leisa Byington but you can call me Rose. I have recently been working on several scripts. I have decided to share them with the world. I really hope that you like them. I will post what I get a chance to post but I have to get my handwritten script back from my friend, she is reading it. But as soon as I get it back I will be typing and posting away. Basically, just as little bit of information about it, the story is about a group of Angels and a Pheonix. There is Crystal Rose, a hybrid angel, Theodore Sky’s, a fallen angel, Kali Hearts, a light angel, and Crimson Hawkes, a Pheonix. I will also try to see what i can do ad far as posting the playlist for it. Yes, i have made a music playlist for it, but it is still…
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there is nothing compared to the frustration i feel at not understanding something. even when its explained over and over, i still cant comprehend what im hearing. no matter how hard i try, i cant get it to connect in my brain. i cant get it to make sense. but i feel like theres something wrong with me so i pretend like it finally clicks and then i try to fake my way through whatever task has made me lose my mental capability. then again, i am my adhd self and nothing ever makes sense. so maybe its just me. is it just me? please say someone else expiriences this and that im not just crazy.
Salut mes amis !
On Saturday I did absolutely nothing . Nothing at all but retuned my self into a more positive mindset . I spent the day watching an amine named <> which reminded me of the power of Music which is one of my favourite things . I kind of forgot that something so simple such as music can do to you, can make you feel; I felt so revived after Saturday that I sat down and just cried . I cried because something that made me happy re-entered my life , I began to think positively by enjoying things that I have missed . Saturday was a good day. Okay Okay I am not going to go all spiritual on you however I want to share some tips on how to stay positive in anysituation .
1.Plan for success
When you are stressed it is…
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They ask me why I read?
Faces turned into a bubble of confusion.
I would tell them,
that for a moment,
I am elsewhere, somewhere.
I am an extra
to the story,
the author always
made room for.
I would tell them,
that I go on a journey,
of heartache, love,
betrayal, secrets, lies
I would tell them,
books, I would be lost.
When they ask me why I read?
and simply wonder,
why aren’t they?
© Nikkita Robert